Self-Parenting

It’s hard to deny that most parents could use some guidance on how to best parent their children to be strong, confident, emotionally balanced, mature adults. Parenting is the hardest and most important job we will ever do! It may not be as obvious that most of the adults walking around in the world today are still wounded children in adult bodies.

Learning to Self-Parent your Inner Child is extremely important if you want to live a healthy, balanced, and satisfying life. The Self-Parenting exercises used in the HuMethod Healing Modality will teach you how to fulfill your emotional dependency needs that were not met when you were a child.

I want you to clearly understand what this term, Inner Child, means. It is your childlike memories and programs that are emotionally anchored to a time when you only had the power, knowledge, and physical strength of a small child. Your inner child needs to learn to trust the “adult you” because you have adult powers now that he or she didn’t have. You need to make your inner child feel safe and secure by committing to practice the Self-parenting exercises until you do feel safe and secure in the world.

- Hu Dalconzo from Self Mastery: A Journey Home to Your Self

The HuMethod teaches us that there are seven pieces to Self-Parenting. First are the four cornerstones, Unconditional Love and Acceptance; Emotional Intimacy; Self-Nurturing; and Mature Boundary Protection. Then we have three vital action pieces of Self-Parenting which are: Validating your feelings; the Three S’s of the Ego-Mind to help you feel Safe, Sane and Secure in the world; and the Four P’s of a self-parented adult which are your adult Powers that you will use to Protect your Self, the Permission Rules to live your life as you choose based on your own ethical and moral standards, and the Practice that is necessary to achieve your Self-parenting objectives.

The Self Parenting work that I do with clients is some of the most powerful and transformational work we do. Becoming aware of the wounds, fears, and negative beliefs that we still carry with us from childhood, and then doing the work to heal and alleviate those wounds, allows us to consciously create a life that we choose, instead of unconsciously reacting to life according to programs we needed as children to feel safe but that are no longer serving us.

I’m including the Self-Parenting Poem from the Self Mastery: A Journey Home to Your Self Textbook below. I encourage you to read the poem out loud to yourself. Make note of how you feel when you are reading each statement. Ask yourself, what does this mean to me? Why is this feeling coming up? Where might this feeling be stemming from, what age was I when I first felt this feeling?

Self-Parenting Poem

As a Self-mastered adult…

If I don’t learn how to fulfill my emotional dependency needs, then I’ll never feel safe, sane, and secure in the world; for I’ll always have to look to others to tell me who I am.

If I don’t expect emotional intimacy, I am saying that… “I’m Ok with your being emotionally distant from me,” and I’ll distance myself for fear of rejection.

If I don’t demonstrate unconditional love for my Self, I am showing people that “I’m not worthy of receiving love, nor your benefit of the doubt.”

If I don’t demand respect, I’ll give people permission to treat me disrespectfully; for I teach people how to treat me by the way I treat myself.

If I don’t use my adult powers, I’ll fall prey to my own “child-like” ego defenses; and the walls I build will keep out the love I seek.

If I don’t maturely defend my boundaries with my adult powers, then people will “trespass” me just as they did when I was a powerless child!

If I don’t give my Self permission to be myself, then people will “mold me” into who they want me to be, taking me further away from the light of my real Self and closer to the darkness of my “persona” (mask).

IF I don’t learn to validate and release my feelings, then my feelings will create dis-ease within me; for a disease is a perfect creation; a negative feeling made manifest.

If I beat my Self up when I “act out” with “less-than-perfect” behavior, then I am affirming that, “I AM my behavior” and not a child of God.

If I’m not willing to practice my Self-parenting skills until they become a part of my consciousness, then when life “tests” me I’ll attempt to protect my Self using immature, childlike, ego-based methods.

If I don’t “respond with ability” to make my life emotionally, sexually, and physically Safe, Sane, and Secure, then I’ll live a life of “quiet desperation,” comfortable in my “uncomfortable-ness” and fearful of life’s opportunities, unable to fulfill my divine birthright, a life worthy of a child of God.

-HU-JI

The first step to healing is awareness. Once we become aware of feelings and programs that have remained unconscious for so long, we can start to examine them and get to the root of them. Then it’s just a matter of doing the work to dig up the roots every time that feeling or program surfaces in our life by acknowledging that we see it, consciously choosing to release it, and replacing it with a new program, a new affirmation of strength and power instead of weakness or victimhood.

The coaching I do is a whole lot more than just giving you meaningless affirmations to layer over old negative programs or ways of thinking. First, we have to do the work to surface and discreate the unconscious programs that are ruling your life. Then YOU decide what to replace those programs with. These tools guide you to become the Conscious Creator of your reality. .

I look forward to sharing more awesome information with you in the weeks to come, and to possibly getting the chance to work with you one-on-one over the phone as your spiritual life coach.

Namaste!

Coach Katie